But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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