Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize