would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've changed since you got that strap on
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
