You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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