the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My vagina just recognized that song.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
