Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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