Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
