Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
