And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
