69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
