Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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