maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
