she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
