You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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