So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Damn victory sex feels great
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
