What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
