im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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