hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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