There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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