Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
