Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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