In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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