She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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