Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
