either way he was missing a nipple.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
