im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
