So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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