If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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