So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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