Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
