Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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