I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
