On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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