Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your penis caused this!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
