I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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