Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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