Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You can't just leave with hair like that
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
