my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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