6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
