I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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