Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
