I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
