You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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