I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
