I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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