he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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