I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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