Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
