Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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