Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
