Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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