don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
