What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
