i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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