I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
