check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
