If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
