better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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