he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
