Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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