My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
