Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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