He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
