it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
