So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
