"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
