The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
