Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
