I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
