Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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