True but thats because hes a fetus.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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