Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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