No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my shit smells like andre
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
